I have a butterfly in a bottle on my desk. It is not a real butterfly, it is fake. There is a wire attached to it and it is battery operated. When you tap the top of the bottle, the butterfly flutters and flies and flaps its wings. It is absolutely convincingly real. I LOVE it! I am fascinated by it and it is a symbol for me. Perhaps it is the ingenuity of the design, or the fact that it...
A friend of mine recently went overseas for 10 days to visit some family. Soon after she returned, she confessed that she felt overwhelmed at home. She wanted to go back to Europe and leave her children with her husband. What it was that made her feel this way? I also feel sometimes like running away. Small kids, teenager and husband can take its toll. Especially around 5 pm (suicide hour) when everyone wants something from you and it is not all...
When I was young, I was quite good looking. I never traded on my looks and I certainly never thought that I identified with being attractive. But now that I am growing older and my looks are fading, I am having a really tough time of it. It seems to me that suddenly (within a year) everything changed. My hair fell out and I realized that I can’t read the small print anymore. The quantity of food I have always...
In western culture the ego has had a bad rap. Most people think that an ego is something negative. That it should be suppressed. You have an over inflated ego, or you are egocentric or egotistical. And Eastern religions say you should abandon it altogether, it just causes problems. :) But what is the ego? Is it something good or bad? Should you give up on it or hold on to it? In both analytical psychology (Jungian) and psychoanalysis (Freudian), the Ego plays...
If you are really wealthy, don’t read this blog. :) I was reading an article that James Hillman wrote “A contribution to soul and money”. He says lots of interesting things in it, but what struck me as most interesting is the idea that money = psyche. Money is an Archetype which is translated into psychic energy. This psychic energy is limited, so it can only be used by the ego for either external (conscious) development, i.e. manifesting money or...
A little boy was having difficulty lifting a heavy stone. His father came along just then. Noting the boy’s failure, he asked, "Are you using all your strength?" "Yes, I am," the little boy said impatiently. "No, you are not," the father answered. "I am right here just waiting, and you haven’t asked me to help you." Beautiful, isn’t it? And that is the inspiration for my blog today. This idea that we are not alone. That help is all around us and...
I am not an accommodating person. I draw a line quickly and if you cross it, well that’s it for our relationship. When I was younger, I was just too nice and accommodating and that allowed people around me really take advantage of me. I took a lot of abuse from my friends and peers. My feelings were always sacrificed for another’s happiness or needs. There were many times I felt badly hurt and neglected and ignored. I had...
When I was younger, I had a real issue with Summercon Developers. We stayed in one of their townhouses for a few months and just hated it. Stephen and I were in a young relationship and we were fighting like cats and dogs. And of course EVERYONE heard it. I could not understand why Summercon were allowed to put up these terrible little boxy houses, with no privacy that were ridiculously priced. Also only the bottom units actually 'owned' the...
When I was 38, I went to watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I can't tell you how much it upset me. I cried bitterly towards the end of the movie and carried on crying for at least 2 weeks afterwards. It put me in a weird space. I became depressed, but not really, more like a severe melancholy. (I am generally melancholic anyway) At the time, I wasn't sure why the movie affected me so profoundly and I...
When I was in labour with my second child I was terrified. My firstborn was a ceaser because she was breach and I was determined to have natural birth this time around. My Gyne was really cross about it and tried to bully me, but I was insistent. It was probably the most traumatic and painful experience I have ever lived through. My third child's birth was also natural, but this time I was like Superwoman. I breathed through the pain...
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