A tool to identify your transference: understanding your unconscious communication in relationships

Transference- countertransference, Lacan, Jung Transference as a technical term in depth psychology describes the process whereby unconscious content is shared between patient (analysand) and analyst in the context of their therapeutic relationship (analysis). Although used to refer to this specific relationship dynamic in analysis, transference is a very real dimension of all social interaction, it is by no means limited to the analytical couple (analyst and analysand). This is the third in a series of three short articles I have written [...]

Counter-transference:the Obscene Other

In my last post Transference: the Saviour the Madonna and the Slut, I dealt with the issue of transference and some of the ways this affects our lives and our relationships. Now I want us to consider the flipside of that coin, counter-transference. Simply, counter-transference is what happens when someone transfers onto you and you react to their transference. This reaction can take two typical forms: You transfer your unconscious contents onto them in response to their transference, which means you [...]

Transference:the Saviour, the Madonna and the Slut

At the very heart of psychoanalysis is the issue of transference- counter transference. Transference is a technical term describing a somewhat mysterious phenomenon that occurs when the patient ‘transfers’ their relationship with one or both of their parents onto the psychoanalyst. We are dealing with this topic in the November Foundation Module, and I want to share just a little about it with you. When we say they ‘transfer’ this relationship, what is meant is that, this is done unconsciously. On [...]

I Just Can’t Stand Them! – What Are You Really Saying?

When I was younger, I had a real issue with Summercon Developers. We stayed in one of their townhouses for a few months and just hated it. Stephen and I were in a young relationship and we were fighting like cats and dogs. And of course EVERYONE heard it. I could not understand why Summercon were allowed to put up these terrible little boxy houses, with no privacy that were ridiculously priced. Also only the bottom units actually ‘owned’ the [...]

Beware, the Facebook “Friend”.

An ex- lover of mine contacted me on Facebook. We had a love affair when I was 20. He was so beautiful! It turned out that he stays in the same suburb as me and asked me to meet for coffee. So I mentioned to Stephen that my former lover wants to have coffee… ‘What are you going to do?’ He asked, suspiciously. I thought I would tease him and raised one eyebrow . ‘No, I am not comfortable with that!’ he [...]